Published on: 08 Nov 03:41
Andrew asks
My girlfriend told me not to buy her a Christmas gift so as a fun little loophole in her wording I bought a mini claw machine that Iām going to fill with gifts I could have given her, but now instead of me giving them to her she has to win them.
What are ideas of small things I can put in the claw machine?
My answer
I'll do you one better. Take out a Christmas loan in her name. One of those squeamishly high-interest ones. Then buy her a Ferrari. Before she wakes, park it on her doorstep with a huge pink bow tie, usual story, bring her outside with her eyes closed, instruct her to open them, she spies the Ferrari, she squeals in delight, you hand her the keys, her squeal redoubles ... then right at her squeal's climax, tell her:
"It's funded by a payday loan! At least the bloke I got the loan from told me it was a payday loan. His underlings were calling him Sir Scarface as they tortured the mayor. I had to use your manor as collateral. At least I told him it was a manor. The first payment is due in ... er, six minutes. Oh look, here come twenty thousand henchfemales to personally drag your shitty little shack to their boneyard. They'd been expecting a manor, and boy, don't they look pissed! They fume at your Deception. They'll have Unkind Words for its owner! Former owner, more like. Now it belongs to Sir Scarface. Also I can't in good conscience date an adult so financially destitute and/or irresponsible, byeee!"
Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/?m...
