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The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part 1/6: The Knights of Raw Phwoar
Part 2/6: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Part 3/6: The Cervical Supremacy
Part 4/6: The Praetorian Prostitutes
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BOOKS
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part 1/6: The Knights of Raw Phwoar
Part 2/6: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Part 3/6: The Cervical Supremacy
Part 4/6: The Praetorian Prostitutes
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23 Feb 2026
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Sexyverse book cover design contest gets seriously molten
[First written in March 2023, and I'd only just now realised I'd not posted this! Posting now:] Slightly naughty content ahead! I’ve been banging out a series of stories, and the time has come to publish. That means neat cover ...
8 Feb 2026
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Today's TERRIBLE advice: on handling scalding soup with Chernobyl ...
Image source: https://www.reddit.com/r/chernobyl/comments/1ddrbd... Christian asks soup is too hot what do My answer Why not do what I do? Hop in a time machine, jump back three decades and halfway around the world to the ...
27 Jan 2026
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Today's TERRIBLE advice: on relieving one's gay anxieties via ...
Gino asks How to stop being self-conscious about being g@y? My answer Dude! Isn't it obvious? Just provoke every single person, object and abstract concept in the entire universe into becoming even gayer than you. Here's what you ...
21 Jan 2026
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Today's TERRIBLE advice: the sublime wisdom of blending ...
Tifani asks got this text today from someone i’ve been seeing (2 dates), what do? My answer It's ... it's obvious, isn't it? You two lovebirds simply need to close your relative Slut Gap, pronto, via galactic quantities of mutual ...
18 Jan 2026
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Why PT boats are the superior strumpets of the US Navy
FLOOZIES Angela asksTold my psychiatrist zoloft makes it hard to “cross the finish line” she updated my patient chart saying “ pt is struggling with sexual dysfunction and is unable to achieve orgasm due to ssri.” This is in my ...
16 Jan 2026
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On asserting one's cerebral magnificence by crushing one's ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfqOQtiRWLA ❤ MysticalPeapod9008 asks Went no contact with my birthgiver and I fear running into her around town. How should I disguise myself henceforth? My answer Why not disguise yourself ...
13 Jan 2026
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Today's TERRIBLE advice: on obsoleting all car locksmiths via ...
A valiant early attempt at blending cars with domiciles. Incidentally, turns out it's really difficult getting decent-quality photos of cars crashing into houses. You'd be astonished how little stock photography there is of such ...
6 Jan 2026
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A few tips on relocating every cat in the universe
Humantrainer15 asks Neighbor keeps feeding stray cats by the mailbox (across from my dogs yard) and refuses to use her own yard. I counted 8 today when I yelled at her again. What do? Btw mailboxes are by the highway 🤗 🫠 My ...
29 Dec 2025
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How to woo your beloved with Taco Bell enemas and equestrian practice
EnthusiasticLion9296 asks Ex of one week just asked if he can bring me Taco Bell. What do? My answer Maybe he means the entire restaurant chain. Maybe he's going to physically drop every single Taco Bell restaurant on your house ...
28 Dec 2025
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Why hideously boring sex is the most fun-time sex
FluffyMcSparkleFartz asks Came with partner to hotel for fun time . What do now ? My answer You're not into hideously boring sex, are you? Could you not enjoy your fun time whilst fast asleep and therefore in compliance with the ...
19 Dec 2025
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How John Cleese and the Great War sidestep Satan's wily ways
Nick asks Thoughts? Different group but reflexes remain intact. Do I owe The Internet an apology? My answer One of the many joys of reading John Cleese's autobiography was his slice-of-life descriptions of 1950s English ...
17 Dec 2025
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Mouldy carpets: a lightning rod for Aslan graveyards
Derrick asks Ripped out the carpet in my new house and found this. What do?!?!? My answer You'd had that ginormous fridge concealed under your carpet? How shit was the carpet-laying job? Was the entirety of your house's interior ...
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Books You May Find Surprisingly Snazzy
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 2/6 ~~
The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it's wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it's stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 3/6 ~~
The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 4/6 ~~
The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game's up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth's free nations forever perish.
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