Published on: 08 Nov 08:12
Elizabeth asks
Iβm getting major surgery on my throat on Monday. I want to spend my last day eating whatever I want because I wonβt be eating much for a few weeks..
What shall I eat???
My answer
There was that story a few years back of an alcoholic bloke who decided it'd be a fab idea to imbibe an entire bottle of whiskey via enema. The thing about normal drinking is that if/when you get blackout drunk, you can't keep drinking, so you pass out and your blood alcohol level starts dropping (unless you're Craig Ferguson, who in the '80s became a cokehead not because cocaine itself was awesome, but because when he got blackout drunk it kept him conscious and he could get even drunker). The thing about alcoholic enemas is that if you get blackout drunk, you don't then immediately shit out the booze. It stays in your bowel and you continue to absorb it. This bloke did this. He died.
Maybe you could follow his fine example. But instead of booze, cultivate your ability to absorb the very finest haute cuisine anally, starting with liquid-y, absorbable soups and stews suitable for novice anuses, moving up through penisey grub like sausages and filled rolls and Subway sandwiches and appropriate challenges for the intermediate asshole of daring and vigorous ambition, culminating with whole roast chickens and livestock and other Everests of the truly superb patoot. Maybe that's what Richard Gere was (allegedly) doing with those (alleged) gerbils: he'd had throat surgery too, but wasn't going to stop a pesky little thing like inoperative throat stop him from deepthroating his beloved rodents.
Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...
