Published on: 15 Dec 02:03

Shan asks

I am starting my new career as a mortician after Christmas. What are some tips to help me ease in to the new job and calm my nerves a little?

My answer

I hear immersion therapy works wonders. Drench yourself in DEATH DEATH DEATH and you'll be right as rain. Simply teleport into Middle-Earth, cosplay as Eowyn, then sneak into the Rohirrim's ginormous cavalry charge during the Battle of Pelennor Fields, the one where six thousand Rohirrin all scream DEATH to psyche themselves up. If you read the books, you discover they all continue screaming DEATH mid-charge too. Fun for the whole family.

Though it's a bit too obvious, right? If you're doing this, maybe other morticians are too. Now you've got me wondering just what percentage of the Rohirrim were modern-day morticians incognito. It'd explain a fair few things about Rohan, like how that slimy creep Wormtongue was able to operate at large among them without standing out, and get away with corrupting Theoden for so long. He's got that stench of professional death about him. He ... actually come to think of it, he genuinely does box-tick so many hilarious mortician stereotypes. Say, you're not Wormtongue yourself, are you?

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...