Published on: 10 Oct 18:03
Brittany asks
I've been going to my same tattoo artist for 8 years and she recently upped her price to $250 an hour. She deserves to be paid that well but I can't afford that anymore, what do I do?
My answer
Three counterstrategies:
- Reduce the value of your dollars, so that $250 becomes a lesser burden;
- Lengthen the duration of your hours, so that $250 stretches further;
- Trash the competence and/or reputation of your artist, so $250/hr resumes being an impossible dream for her
1: Murder or abduct whichever final-boss-Economist is in charge of your country's monetary policy, and "persuade" him and/or her to proclaim infinite money-printing. "Weimars were WIMPS" shall be the motto on the lips of your country's monetary-policy-mooks. Quintillion-to-one inflation? Bah. Amateurs. Pair this with a really aggressive price-fixing policy on tattoo parlours and only tattoo parlours. You may now afford your $250/hr tattooing with ease.
2: Crash a gazillion asteroids into the Earth. But only with glancing Equatorial blows, and against the Earth's rotation. The idea is to slow its daily spin from its regular duration of 86,400 seconds, up to billions of seconds. Each day will lengthen to weeks and months. 1/24th of that, a single hour, becomes oodles of time for a really really fancy tattoo. Maybe ask for an inky panorama of your entire rocketry programme. Make your thousands of rockets spell out HA HA HA with their crisscrossing exhausts.
3: Oh, loads of ways. Maybe just learn tattooing yourself, and open a competing parlour next door, and charge negative bucks, i.e., actually pay your own customers, to allow you to tattoo upon them THE TATTOO PARLOUR NEXT DOOR REALLY SUCKS, ALSO MAY I INTEREST YOU IN AN ASTEROID?
Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...
