Published on: 05 Oct 11:14

Cory asks

For context, I'm a trans man that works at the only certified daycare in the town I live in. Yesterday, a parent complained to my boss about me working around their son. Apparently, when you have a hysterectomy or start taking testosterone you start shedding estrogen and me working with his son is going to cause his son to grow breasts. Not even kidding, this is what he told my boss (and I'm about to post this to a bunch of groups so we can all laugh at him together, lol). What sort of things should I tell this dad when he brings his son in today that can set his mind at ease?

My answer

You know, it never occurred to me that estrogen-lowering supplements might have the side effect of your body jettisoning its unwanted estrogen onto unwilling targets. Does that work the other way round? If you take a supplement to boost your testosterone, does that mean you vacuum it up from your surroundings like a horrible Tiberium plant? Now I've got this mental image of vampires trying to boost their T and hilariously draining their victims, and the vampires themselves become increasingly studly and buff, and they leave behind them a trail of low-T, high-E victims all growing massive breasts and becoming ever so voluptuous. Mind you, that's not a million miles away from many classic Dracula tales.

To actually answer your question, could you not refer to yourself to this dad as The Voluptuousifier?