Published on: 11 Nov 03:29

Brooklyn asks

My boss is chronically late to every meeting we have, and I frequently have to text him to remind him to attend. What can I say other than "We're waiting for you"? This text chain is sad.

My answer

Isn't it obvious?

How many calls are you going to make throughout your entire career? Ten thousand or so? Just purchase ten thousand laptops, plus another ten thousand laptops for every business colleague you've ever colleague'd, and then another ten thousand for every potential future business colleague you suspect you might en-colleague in the remainder of your career.

Then, plan every single call you'll ever need to make. Create them, right now. Every single one, across your ten thousand laptops, all arranged in front of you like a particularly hideous game of Guess Who? Your past, present and future colleagues can now all connect too. Easy peasy. Now just all stay on your calls forever, all of you, staring into each others' eyes for all eternity.

Your boss will never have to worry about lateness to any call ever again. For bonus points, hack into Zoom HQ or the Googleplex or whichever business hosts your calls, and discover the theoretical maximum number of calls their systems could ever host, and create those calls too. Your boss won't even have to dial a specific number. He can just button-mash any random number he pleases. It won't matter what call he joins, or when he joins it. There you'll already be, all of you, staring at him like owls.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...