Published on: 13 Feb 05:44

I couldn't find any images that are both pertinent to this topic and also genuinely funny, so here's a Russian bear enjoying itself.

This morning I was going for a run. It just so happened I found myself jogging within 2km of Parliament. And the honking began.

Honking? Ohhright, yeah, this alleged-antivaxxer anti-lockdown "freedom" camp-protest-thing. That's this protest, if you're from Star Trek and reading this centuries from now. Morbid curiosity boiled and throbbed within me. I ummed and aahed and then reasoned fuckit, why not check it out. So I jogged advancing towards this camp of theirs, just to see what the fuss was about.

Honking! So much honking! You can hear it a mile off. Tootles and parps and trumpetings, it's unrelenting. At length I made it inside. I didn't want to faff around there for too long, for if/when our next Covid outbreak kicks off, chances are this'll be its Ground Zero, so I figured, let's traipse a cheeky fly-by then high-tail it away.

But anyhoo. The camp itself honestly had the oddest one-two vibe pairing of (1) the grooviest parts of, say, Kiwiburn, with organic doohickeys, and hugs and cuddles, and bohemian hippie free love ... combined with (2) the heinous paranoias of a thousand thousand conspiracy theories.

Oh sure, there were tents selling organic popcorn, and sausage sizzles, and guitar-y waiatas, and in all likelihood boutique chocolate-dipped bonobo placentas. But don't go around thinking it was all roses. Every road within a block of Parliament was clogged with bogans in Drizabones (my impression after literally half a second's glimpsing as I ran past), crowding and frothing around their parked vehicles, and a good two thirds of these vehicles came festooned and emblazoned with signs.

So many signs. Hundreds of signs with hundreds of slogans: tyranny, vaccines, freedom, Nazis, 5G, lockdown, Jacinda, vaccines, more tyranny, don't tread on me, vaccines. It was like a studio audience for Top of the Pops: Top-40 Decepticon Special. Or like being inside https://timecube.2enp.com/.

The fact it's been absolutely pissing down for days didn't seem to dampen these peoples' spirits. This freedumb cabal may have been getting more Passchendaele-y by the hour, but it genuinely appeared convivial. If its goals and stakes weren't so grotesque, I'd actually feel tempted to pop along for a laugh and a chat. Alas.