Jessica asks

Hubby has a very important phone interview today. What should I do while he's on the phone?

Eta.. now we have a nasty thunderstorm too so do what you do

My answer

I was about to suggest you go down on him for the entirety of the interview, but that seems like cliche'd, rookie advice, so why not insist he instead go down on you? Insist on no uncertain terms that he conduct this long-distance interview whilst simultaneously conferring unto you a mighty fine tongue-lashing. Both at once. If he truly loved you he'd balance both. Right? Is this audio-only or a video call? Perhaps you could angle your pelvis around his jaw and style your pubes such that your hubby appears to rock a particularly fine moustache. Wasn't that the original role of sporrans? Pubic wigs? (Those hairy frontal purse-doohickeys on kilts. I've rocked both: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10158931384397252&set=a.10151452143332252. They're awesome.) Best of all, if the interviewer(s) also have moustaches, you could accuse them of also tonguing their spouse(s).

Edit: oops! That's "merkins"! Right? Isn't it? I'm not 100% sure either way. Whatever the case, you can't deny there's a similarity.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...