Get off my lawn ya damn punks

Consent is sexy

Published on: 11 May 01:16

Rhett asks

So, I've had it. My lawn is growing WAY too fast. It grows in a day.

What some things to do that'll slow it down while also keeping the neighbors "happy"?

My answer

Carefully remove your lawn's turf, excavate a yard-deep cuboid cavity below your lawn's real estate, construct one of those hydraulic remote-control-lowerable steel platforms in its place, the kind of thing you'd use to raise or lower Thunderbird 1, then replace the lawn turf on top of it. Now, as the days and months go by, slowly lower your hydraulically-adjustable lawn at the same rate that it grows, so that its topmost grass tips remain at exactly the same height and any growth remains concealed.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...