Published on: 09 May 06:21

Joshua asks

How can I masturbate without god watching me or judging me?

My answer

Maybe God is feeling lonely and irritable and just wants to be loved? Who wouldn't? Hell, when I get into a strop I feel a tad judgey myself. Why not wank each other off, then? Though which God are we talking about here? Jesus or one of the other two? Harsh experience has taught me that although Jesus may make a big song and dance about his laying-on-of-hands, when push comes to shove, his stigmata transform an otherwise exquisite handjob into an experience slightly more holey. Maybe that's why certain God-botherers apply autostigmata? They're trying to level the mutual-trinitarian-wank-off playing field.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...