Published on: 17 May 01:51

Tangle asks

My big dog hurt his paws being silly. He now refuses to walk anywhere and insists on being carried everywhere and insists I place him on my bed. What do?

No OOC; He's under vet advice and care.

My answer

What's the problem? I tweaked my pinky a few months back, and insisted that until it healed, my corporate conglomerate's employees henceforth carry me everywhere on a litter. But, y'know, nothing showy, only a little litter, with each of the 128 litter-bearers stripped to the waist and oiled up and flexing like they're in a Mrs. Universe final; several hundred temps striding ahead, throwing scented rose petals and poetry across my path; town criers and teams of choir boys and/or girls following in my path, singing my praises to the heavens; and, forming rearguard, twin duelling packs of seasoned courtesans and paramours and sex-workers proclaiming that I wasn't the abysmal lover the townsfolk had pictured at all, and surprisingly adequate in the sack. It was awesome. Dunno what the fuss is all about. Now I want to injure my other pinky and repeat. Hell, if anything, I'd have to ding your pooch for lack of ambition. And he knows that! You can see the self-admonishment in his eyes! Tell him to buy out a few dozen more nearby companies and make their employees haul him everywhere in a colossal golden Snoopy-themed chariot and only then get back to me. Us.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...