Published on: 08 May 20:15
Jennifer asks
My boyfriend is locked up waiting for his court dates. The lawyer we hired stopped responding I looked him up and the LAWYER is up for some very serious charges that just came about. Now Iām possibly screwed on the money and we have no lawyer. Help! All advice welcome
My answer
Why not offer to be your lawyer's lawyer? Make a huge public kerfuffle about your apparently infinite pro bono generosity. Portray yourself as some kind of heroic, selfless public defender, like an astroturf-esque Judge Judy. Kick off with your own cable show, recording yourself gatecrashing colossal Pable-Escobar-sized drug busts or something and loudly offering to legally-defend the object of the cops' affections. Then accidentally-on-purpose embezzle vast quantities of cocaine from your latest client, and scream at your colossal and sycophantic TV audience that the only person who could possibly represent you in your own court battles is someone with squeamishly intimate knowledge of your personality, motives, and recent history. Duh. Your boyfriend. So if your rabid fan base could pretty-please-with-sprinkles bust him out of jail before his court date? You'd be eternally grateful. So hop to it, buster.
Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/545286786317245/po...
