Published on: 15 Sep 23:13

Natasha asks

Got new insurance, and they follow my driving.

It’s bad

What do?

My answer

Why not fight fire with even sexier fire? Accept your insurance's monitoring of your driving habits, but only in return for them allowing you to monitor every single other habit and activity, of every insurance-company employee, 24/7. Their rationale is to ensure you refrain from any unnecessarily risky activity; surely they couldn't possibly object to you respectfully insisting they follow suit? For you are a Consumer. You have every right to demand your precious disposable income goes towards a skilfully-run operation such as theirs.

What does that mean in practice? Duh. Remote-controlled, electrified cock rings and/or labial rings. No insurance company employee will ever pleasure themselves again without your consent. Every time they message you something like "your driving's a bit crap luv", simply reply with the same Morse-coded electrozappy gonad message to all. They'll be begging you to drive like a lunatic in no time.

Original: https://www.facebook.com/groups/545286786317245/po...