Kira asks

My bf told me he would like my hair if it was black, so I got black hair dye tonight. I'm Hella nervous. Should I just say fuck it and see how bad it turns out?

My answer

Careful! Learn from my mistakes, girl. A romantic partner of mine a while back told me the same thing. I'd assumed she'd meant "She'd like me more if my hair was dyed black." Turns out she'd literally meant "I'd like your hair more if it's black." As in, only my hair and not the rest of me. I get horrific bed-head at the best of times, but for the first few weeks of black hair, I woke up each morning like I'd been headbutting a particularly soggy gorse bush, and my girl would be splayed across the bedsheets like a snoozing pretzel, all perspiring and exhausted and woozy-grinned. Things came to a head one night when I woke up at 3am and discovered she was riding my scalp like a mechanical bull. The instant she realised I'd awoken, she shrieked, lopped off my hair with an incredibly sharp scythe, leaped out the window clutching a foot of my black hair in one fist, and I'd not seen them in person since. They send me postcards. In the most recent one she'd admitted the hair is an incredibly stingy lover and flat-out refuses to reciprocate oral, and could I pretty-please take her back?

Original: https://www.facebook.com/groups/545286786317245/po...