Published on: 14 Jun 07:44

Chelsea asks

Hello friends! My wife’s ex refuses to change her address. I’ve written return to sender and not at this address on her mail for the last year and a half to no avail. My wife has asked her to change her address. She won’t. I messaged her, “hey bestie change your address” and nothing. I’ve reminded her monthly.

What are some polite (and not so polite ways I can request she change her address?

My answer

Could you not persuade every single person in the entire world to change their postal address to hers? It's only eight billion people, come on, it probably wouldn't take that long, get your rear in gear and make it happen. Email addresses too, phone numbers, social media handles, any and every means that anyone could possibly harness as a telecomms endpoint: make every last one of them point sharply at your ex-beloved from all directions, like some kind of horrible inside-out techbro hedgehog. That way, not only will she cop every bit of spam and bad news in the universe, but when she rages impotently across the world about it, her tantrums will splat right back in her face like Ep. IX somehow-Palpatine-returned's Force Lightning. With any luck, you could get her to fight her eight billion shadows forever.

Original: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...