Published on: 14 Jun 08:15

Laura asks

A week ago my neighbor went bonkers because we asked her if she would turn off her porch light for a moment so we could get a good picture of the northern lights. She went bananas saying we were trespassing on her lawn when we were still on our property, just asking over the fence. The next day she drug a huge branch over near our house (still on her property) and nailed a "NO TRESPASSING" sign onto it. Then when we took our took our trash cans to the street this week she proceeded to scream at us about being on her property. (We weren't).

I'm feeling super petty and I'd love so GREAT advice on how to handle this maturely.

My answer

Surround her house with even bigger signs, all saying TRESPASSERS INCREDIBLY WELCOME. Each time she walks out her door, scream "Thank God you're here! I'm so relieved! Please, please, trespass on our property! We'd be devastated if you didn't!" Extra points if you can break down sobbing. Extra-extra points if you can get hold of a roll of those red carpets you get at VIP movie premieres, with limos and chauffeurs with trench coats and white gloves, beckoning her forward.

Get the lady's own neighbours in on the act too. Everywhere she goes, passersby will yowl and plead with her to invade their property instantly. Eventually she'll crack, and believe society's gone to the dogs, or become insomniw0ke, or whatever today's cool-kids are calling enjoying being prissy, and will no longer put up any resistance should you burp less than a mile from her national borders.

Great, mission accomplished. Now you can actually trespass to your heart's content. Tell her the Northern Lights have relocated to her property and hers alone and she should expect a deluge of ten thousand astronomers by teatime.

Original: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...