On becoming the glorious-est flirter in the goddamn galaxy: today's TERRIBLE advice

8 Dec 2021

RW asks

I posted about this before but the situation is getting worse.

Im a 41yo married mom of two and there’s a guy probably young enough to be my son who works at Trader Joe’s and obviously has a crush on me, he engages me in a real conversation every time I go there and flirts HARD. Well, I’m starting to find him really attractive, not sure why because his personality reminds me of Ed from Good Burger.

To make a long story short, my basement is starting to flood now whenever I run into this guy.

How do I avoid him? Quitting TJ’s is not an option because I need snacks.

My answer

Easy. Egg him on. Encourage him to flirt so galactically hard that no-one has ever flirted so hard in the history of humanity. If all goes swimmingly, your basement flood will become a majestic goddamn tsunami and drown him. No more flirting, and you'd better believe he'll die happy. Problem solved.

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