i got my period and i donβt have pads. what do i use to avoid leaking?
Here's a few ideas:
- Why not turn that frown upside-down? Why not spend the entirety of Shark Week performing handstands and walking upside-down? You can't leak if you're vertical. Unless you've got really really heavy flow, in which case, ew, but more importantly:
- Become one of those glamorous wine-connoisseur-mums we're always reading about on television, you know, the ladies who guzzle Baileys by the keg by the minute. If you get your blood-alcohol level higher than quaffing a keg of lab ethanol, then you might just get your blood viscosity higher than molasses. Your that-time-of-the-month blood flow should slow to glacierlike oozing. You'll have days and days of warning before vast scarlet icebergs lurch from your twinkle-cave and crush unobservant supercarriers.
- Your that-time-of-the-month happens monthly ... right? It does, doesn't it? Then why not stretch the duration of a month out to infinity? Simply crash a gazillion dino-killer asteroids against the Moon's glorious and globular ass. This will kick it into ever-speedier and more distant orbits from Earth. You'll have decades-long months before you know it.
- Failing that, why not move to a planet with no moons at all? Venus? No moons, no month, no Shark Week, no leaks.
- If these fail to achieve results and success, can't think why, then just revert to basics and become a Soviet Union Olympic gymnast.