Published on: 24 Nov 05:12

Kohli asks

I have been with my boyfriend for 2yrs. Before I met him, I hooked up with his brother but I didn't know that was his brother until I met his family a while after. I spoke to his brother and we decided to keep it quiet about us being together so as to not upset my boyfriend as that was in the past.

For the last 6 months or so I have also been sleeping with my boyfriend's dad and we have fallen in love. Last month it was my boyfriend's birthday and I got drunk as me and bf had an argument and I ended up sleeping with his brother. It was a one-off and won't happen again but I have just found out I am pregnant and don't know who the father is. I really want to break things off with my bf and make a go of things with his dad, but he thinks I haven't been sleeping with his son (my bf) as our relationship was rocky but truth is we were still having sex. Please help, I have really messed up!

My answer

Oh, man. I've been in your shoes before, girl. More times than you might think. Here's what you need to do. Learn from my experiences and mistakes. The trick to success and prosperity and triumph is to, first, build yourself up as an ethereal goddess of sensuality and beauty and ecstasy and bliss.

So far so good, you should totally be doing that anyway, just on general principles. Then, each time you're alone with one of your three beaus, make a great colossal play of even your magnificent ethereal radiance just simply melting aswoon at their girth and their stoutness and their colossal sturdy masculine strength.

Make each bloke think "oh wow, a goddess of this magnificence melts before me? I must be phenomenal! Go me!" Blokes eat that shit up.

But! The real trick is to also subtly yet firmly communicate to each of these three blokes that you also feel the same way about the other two. They're impossible thunderheads of greasy masculine powah. How could a delightful delicate darling goddess like yourself ever resist?

Each will think "Well if those other two blokes are as magnificent as I am, then naturally she's melting for them too. She's only human, yeah?" Play your cards right and you'll be able to fuck all three, all the time. All of them will think "well obviously she's helpless before us, we're amazing." They think you're a delicate feminine goddess and nothing more, yet you've outthought the lot. Strength and power come in many forms past the purely physical, girl. Your subtle genius has set you free to bang bang BANG, 24/7. Use their egos against them. Problem solved.

That said, don't come complaining to me if you get pregnant from all three idiots at once and their idiot offspring attack each other in your womb and/or punch their way free like in Aliens. If I had a penny for each time that'd happened to me ...

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...