Published on: 24 Nov 05:41

Brooklyn asks

I was just publicly shamed for breastfeeding at an outdoor fall festival whilst entirely covered. What do?!

My answer

Simple. What you do is, first, sneak into their own festival tent while these complete bastards are partying elsewhere, then replace every single clothing item of theirs with identical instant tearaway stripper clothes. Second, wait a day or two for them to rotate their clothing choices with your faux replacements. Now, you stalk them until they're sitting down at a bench somewhere, dress yourself as a vast adult baby, nappy and pacifier and all.

Get Friend #1 to distract them so that you're able to sneak up on them unawares; get Friend #2 to instantly wrench off all their tearaway stripper garb; you pounce on their breasts like you're a tigress and they're two yummy yummy haunches of lamb; get Friend #3 to record the entire event on video; and finally, get Friend #4 to charge up to you all, apparently furious, and denounce your victim as a hussy, and a floozy, and how dare she breastfeed her adult children (you) and good god her hair is a mess.

Then, approach every motherhood and breastfeeding publication in the universe, and portray your anti-breasts victim to every single one of them as a shining beacon of maternal hope and pro-breasts defiance. Play your cards right and your anti-breasts accuser will be accosted by adoring and sycophantic packs of mums for decades thereafter, wilting under their unearned praise as a pro-breasts crusader.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...