What are some ways I can make money quick?
Hard mode: nothing relating to pr*stituti*n
OOC: I do petsitting on the side for extra cash, but have been in need of a bit more lately.
There was a chapter in that book Rich Dad, Poor Dad about this, wasn't there?
From memory, I recall that, one fine summer's afternoon, the father of the author, Robert Kiyosaki, arrived home from work. Dad-Kiyosaki found himself greeted by none other than the local town cop. The constable informed him that his son, child-Kiyosaki, had not only been counterfeiting American currency in industrial quantities, but when cornered, claimed with great vehemence and indignation that his dad, the man this cop was talking to right this second, had expressly instructed child-Kiyosaki to do this.
Dad-Kiyosaki was understandably flummoxed.
Much chat ensued. Turned out it was one huge hilarious misunderstanding. Dad-Kiyosaki's had made an offhand comment, the previous evening, about the importance and value of, quote, "making money". Child-Kiyosaki had eagerly taken this on board. Literally.
That very afternoon, he had sourced a fifty-cent coin, made a plaster cast, scrounged up all the lead he could find, melted it down, and begun cranking out as many copies as he could.
In his home's front garden. Where the Fuzz could just drive past and see it.
Anyway, you should kidnap Robert Kiyosaki and put his criminal-mastermind counterfeiting expertise to good use. Chain him up in your basement like Tony Stark and waterboard him until he manufactures moola and hope he doesn't construct a greenback Mk. 1 Iron Man suit out of stacks of pennies when you're not looking, like Pablo Escobar did when he decided it was finally time to vacate that Mexican jail and spend more time with his hippos.