Whilst writing this, I'd genuinely forgotten there's a band called Anthrax. What the hell. Enjoy.
Quitting weed and I can't sleep. Gotta be up for work in 3 hours....what do?
Most people would frame attempting work that hideously sleep-deprived as "getting up early". Ugh. What kind of unhip square are you, maaan? Your 14yo self would be ashamed of you. So why not go the other way? Take a leaf out of Prince's book. He was notorious for starting his gigs, yes *starting* them, at 2am, so that the giga-geeks and the mega-dweeb-0-s would get filtered out by the tyranny of snoozy biology, leaving only the coolest of cool-kats to rock on forever.
You should do that too. You're not getting up early. You're extending your evening. You're keeping the after-party going. You're the prissy Prince of par-tay. You're already on the right track by shunning boring ol' downers like weed. You need something jazzier. The old classics? Cocaine and meth? Either that or just get a chemistry sample-pack of a million white powder types and tell your fellow workers, sorry partygoers, that they're cocaine. Ever snorted anthrax? It's wild, man. So turn up at your workplace with a million Free Samples of alleged anthrax-coke and you'll be the life and friggin' soul of their early morning and your medium-evening. For a while. Until the anthrax-high kicks in. Then you can out-par-tay Satan.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2026/2/why-your-meg...