Published on: 22 May 23:56

Casey asks

I have bad Autophobia(fear of being alone) and my husband is a way for work for a week. Im now home alone and freaking out.

What do?

My answer

There are loads of bespoke custom blowup doll makers around. I hear these days most are doing a roaring trade building Putin dolls. And you can totally see why. Phwoar. Why not approach your nearest to construct one of your hubby? Get him to record a few dozen extra-romantic phrases and play them back from an audio recorder in its head. Or fill it full of helium and get a drone to tow it and do laps around your house, crooning deafening love ballads so that your neighbourhood can bask in the intimacy. Or commission an entire army of dolls of you, do the same helium/drone routine, and follow your beloved from above in a vast chevron-shaped armada of inflatable love.

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