I can see in the windows of an apartment in the building next door. It was empty for a while but three people just moved in. How should I welcome them? (hard mode: nothing sexual)
ETA: cannot enter building. only form of communication is through my own window
Commission three RealDoll duplicates of your new neighbours, then position your apparently gorgeous clones in your own house's windows, in a variety of humiliating poses, in full view of your neighbours. Spend many happy evenings with your RealDoll chums, enjoying movies together. Something good and loud, ideally involving zombies. Or Batman. I'll explain why in a sec. Brandish a huge shotgun as each movie-zombie perishes. Discharge it out the window and into the night sky. If anyone asks why, tell them you're lowering their rent and the neighbourhood's rent and they should be fucking grateful. When your fleshy neighbours at length take your shotgun bait and then become aware of your dupes, perform a hilarious pantomime double-take between your house and theirs, brandish your shotgun anew, lock eyes with your neighbour, nudge the corresponding dupe-doll, leap to your feet, and holler at them: "THE IMPOSTOR YOU'D WARNED ME OF! AT LAST! TO THE BATCAVE!"
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2022/5/can-you-comm...