Image source: https://www.tmpw.co.uk/news/2025/11/the-2020s-have...
There is an AI mind-worm.
"Break Her Bed."
Dear god. It's been driving me insane!
I do enjoy my YouTube-trawling. Just watching or listening to random videos, as I exercise or bang out housework. They're great fun.
Their comments are usually great fun too. Usually. I keep hearing, about a million friggin' times, that APPARENTLY YouTube's comments-sections are rancid cesspools of toxicity and abuse.
Er ... really? Are they? Speak for yourself m8.
I can't pretend that my viewing habits are in any way a representative sample of YouTube's videos, or users, or behaviours. But 99% of the comments I read are awesome. Rad videos, enjoyed by rad people, who leave rad comments.
People who loudly bitch about YouTube's allegedly loathsome comments-sections? It reminds me of people who complain about, say, Instagram splurging before them an infinite and undulating ocean of breasts, buttocks and thighs, all oiled-up and trembling like extra-sexy ultrasonic oil-drilling equipment. Such peeps intuit not that Instagram and its neighbouring Socials vomit their per-User doomscrolley fodder based on that user's behaviours. These dingbats cop billion-boob faceplantings because they unwittingly command Instagram so. Bro! That's what you'd already been clicking on, bro! Boobs galore.
Similar story, I'd speculate, with horrid horrid YouTube comments sections. Those who trumpet their comments-loathing are usually reflecting their own insidious viewing habits. Hah. Serves 'em right.
So I've honestly found that the videos, comments and users I encounter on YouTube are overwhelmingly rad.
With one exception.
"Break Her Bed."
Argh.
I've been encountering AI-bot comment after AI-bot comment gushing at stupendous and one-dimensional length. They holler and they holler about an allegedly mindblowing book of this name.
The comments are structured similarly: "Omg I cant [sic] believe no one is talking about Break Her Bed it saved my marriage bro." Sometimes they'll include a "Thanks so much for talking about this bro, mad props." Naturally the video itself never mentioned the dang thing. The comment itself has hundreds of likes and dozens of replies: "omg i thought I was the only fan of Break Her Bed," "I appreciate you mentioning this excellent book," blah blah BLAH.
These fuckers are everywhere. They're irritating me like nothing else. By all accounts they're irritating a lot of other people too. More than a few replies are obviously from real humans: "omg this AI spam is getting ridiculous!"
So I've had enough.
I've begun writing my own comments.
Dreadful comments.
"WOW! Break Her Bed is a dream come true! It's the best guide to strangling labradoodles I've ever read!"
"Why didn't anyone TELL me that Break Her Bed is making leprosy cool again? You lot are missing out!"
"No WAY man. For years I'd dreamed of sneaking asbestos into school lunches. Break Her Bed teaches us how!"
As far as I'm concerned, Break Her Bed contains chapters on:
- Resurrecting the hole in the Ozone Layer
- How to intensify all commuters' road rage
- The wisdom of shining dinky little laser pens at jumbo jets at every opportunity
- Making your beloved beau even hornier by constantly chewing with your mouth open
- Selling nightclubbers fake cocaine that they discover the hard way is real anthrax
- Bringing back a grand renaissance of Irish jokes
- Encouraging 100% tips for every purchase but with only pennies
- Constantly flying civilian drones around airports
- Smoothing the logistics of deflating every car tyre across entire parking lots
- Gate-crashing random weddings and outshining the bride
- Imparting your farts with incredibly specific fragrances to psychologically torture your neighbours
- Convincing civil-rights lawyers that the concept of racism is itself racist
- Making stratus-clouds even more dreary and depressing
- Scattering entire stacks of those infuriating religious pamphlets disguised as banknotes around low-income neighbourhoods
Sometimes I might add an /s at the end. Maybe. Unless its absence is even funnier.
I literally only had the idea yesterday to start writing and propagating these, so it's early days yet, but let's just see what kind of reaction we get. I'll keep you posted.