What would you do if you had a dog or cat that turned out to be homosexual?
Wait, what? Aren't all cats already incredibly homosexual?
I thought cats were like mules. You get mules from making horses and donkeys bone each other. Horses and donkeys are two different species, but similar enough to produce intermediate yet sterile offspring. You get mules. Mules are sterile. Mules can't produce mules with other mules. And not for lack of trying, believe me. That's a spring break I won't ever get back.
I thought you got cats similarly. by making gay dogs hump, i.e. male poof-dogs and female lesbo-dogs. That shit ain't easy, believe me. They're not exactly inclined that way in the first place. And boy oh boy does it show: multiple dog breeders have informed me the off offspring of already-gay dogs is dogs so super-DUPER-gay that it soaks into their physiques, and produces the creatures we know as cats.
Thing is, a lot of people love super-DUPER gay dogs, sorry, cats. You hit your classic supply/demand economic tyranny. There's oodles of Demand. And where there's Demand, sooner or later inevitably there follows Supply.
Turns out it's absolute hell for the cat breeding business. Persuading two super-DUPER-gay-dog-cat-creatures to insert Tab A into Slot B is like jamming together two repulsive magnets. And now imagine both magnets are a scratchy whirlwind of claws and yowling. Multiple cat breeders tell me that to get cats to mate and produce other cats, they must first force the cats through those hideous Pray-The-Gay-Away camps so notoriously championed by various American megachurches. Wasn't that how those camps actually got started? I hear Pat Robertson and Joel Osteen and their ilk made their nascent megabucks by charging cat breeders top dollar to turn their feline clientele at least vaguely straight enough to pop out a few supine sprogs to sell to rich entitled floozies. And by complete accident, they discovered that, hey, turns out their daring contra-poof forays works on humans too. Result! This also solves the baffling and age-old mystery of why so many cats are religious nutjobs.