My husband has put 13 strings of lights on the tree and is still putting more on. He keeps saying βIt needs more lights!β like a crazy person. What do?
Why not counterbalance all that horrid light? Simply get into recreational tree-fucking, or whatever the official title is of people versed in cultivating new plant varieties, and produce the blackest, darkest pine tree species in existence. Round up a few thousand goths, or emos, or metalheads, whichever mob seems gloomiest, and command them to make love to as many regular ol' pine trees as possible. A few thousand floral generations and you'll get pines seemingly built from Vantablack. Then buy one as a Christmas gift, and tell hubby to get decorating. There won't be enough lighting in the goddamn universe to counterbalance that nonsense.
Or was it the electricity consumption or something that irked you? Would you be happier with alternative illumination methods? Is Vantablack flammable? I'd never had cause to test. Knowing these new-fangled substances, it's probably incredibly flammable but incredibly carcinogenic. Tell your beau to give it the ol' college try.
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