Image source: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/nort... Also I couldn't find any images of "nudist militias" which weren't cartoonishly sexualised. I mean don't get me wrong. A blog called Sexyverse Advice shall forever remain a staunch ally of voluptuousness and smokin' hot soldier-babes. But there comes a point where even I think "oh come on, we've got to draw the line somewhere". Google "nudist militias" for yourself and you'll see what I mean.
[Context: in reply to my post NZ shirt dimensions: twig arms, parachute torsos, hypersonic hashtag-boss-bitches, and speculating on the clothes-motives of my then-employers]
Maybe they don't want y'all wearing clothes! 😂
My answer
What, clandestine and/or conspiratorial nudity?
That's a thought! That honestly hadn't occurred to me.
You're suggesting that perhaps New Zealand's clothing companies are being infiltrated and destroyed from within by militant nudists? Hellbent on obliterating clothes-ly tyranny?
Maybe! Food for thought indeed.
Though how would you even get militant nudists, anyway? Half the attraction of joining a militia in the first place is the spiffing uniforms. That and the poontang. But the former is a bit difficult when the uniforms themselves are The Enemy.
Though with nudism, I've so often wondered: is nudism's main goal simply the destruction and abolishment of all clothing? Or ... is splaying* the dragon of clothes-ly tyranny merely a means to an end? Perchance that that End is the promotion and radiance of natural human statures? Of attractive and robust physiques? Of just generally rocking beautiful and healthy bods?
Good gumdrops. If nudist clothes-trouncing was always only ever a stepping stone to flaunting one's abs, then perhaps Militant Nudists could take a leaf out of various standup-comic routines rocking the then-Internet, in the mid-2000s. Involving the good-ol' War On Terror. Remember that? I recall all kinds of subspecies of comedic brouhahas, involving conservative femme-Muslims, and their spectacularly opaque burkas, and the difficulties concerning entering the premises of banks and similar institutions, where Security do so insist on IDing one's face. Tricky whilst burka'd.
More than a few comics thus proposed snazzy new fashion lineups, themed around transparent plastic burkas. The perfect Christmas gift for your Mohammedan gal-pal. Fulfil one's ultraconservative hyperIslamic devotions AND yum-up a bronzed-goddess bikini bod suntan? Result! Half of Ibiza would sign up in a heartbeat. The Taliban could solve their misogyny quotas overnight.
A similar solution here, perhaps? Maybe I could design and sell some sweet Sexyverse Advice merch. First item: a wardrobe of exquisitely tailored Militant Fascist officer uniforms, superb and elegant and devastating, all tailored from that transparent plastic bullshit they make see-through pencil cases with. Your Far-FAR-Right Militant Nudists will never look so resplendent. Go on. Picture regiments of Gravy Seals apparelled likewise. Come to think of it, they'd resemble full-body condoms, but, y'know, even more magnificent. It might be the only clothing range in existence eligible for funding from both Planned Parenthood and the Proud Boys.
*I'd genuinely meant to type "slaying", but "splaying" makes me laugh so it stays.