Published on: 10 Dec 02:01

Nolan asks

I want my ass eaten but I'm single, what do?

My answer

Wasn't there that urban legend that Marilyn Manson had a rib removal operation specifically to allow him to suck his own cock? I have no idea if it was ever true, and in fact thinking back, I'd first heard this when I was six years old, in 1991, and heard it discussed in the school playground, in hushed, taboo tones: "omg you'll never guess what I heard...!", etc. It was almost certainly spectacular bullshit.

That doesn't mean that Manson himself did not in fact start it. He's got a certain Look, a certain Vibe to maintain, yeah? Back in the '80s and '90s, the act of convincing one's fans' parents that one is quite literally Satanic makes one's fans more likely to purchase one's next big record. So get rumour-mongering, and get autofellating. It's the rational choice.

Could you not take a leaf out of Manson's book? Kick off a musical career so Rad and Gnarly and Xtreme that you find yourself needing to spread rumours that you'd had your entire ribcage surgically removed in order to more easily spaghettify your spine around your torso like a dropped firehose and thus dine on your own ass in comfort. Your bras no longer fit, and your internal organs now squidge around inside your flaccid torso like a string of horrible sausages, but at what price comes anal delight?

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...