I met a cute girl at the train station today. We talked a lot while waiting for our trains to come but I only got to know her first name and where she lives, before her train arrived. I looked her up on facebook and found her but we have no mutual friends or groups. How can I contact her without being creepy?
Here's how to optimise your entire life around the singular goal of being the least creepy person in the universe. You may experience a few side effects though:
Step One: go through her entire Facebook friends list. Stalk every single one. Learn each one and their entire personalities and their lives, inside and out, so that you may then convincingly impersonate or mimic the whole lot.
Step Two: inform your beloved gawjus protodahlink, masquerading as every single friend or family-member she'd ever known, one after another, that you are a bombastic domineering asshole.
Why? Creeps are creepy usually because they're fake-nice. You can't trust a thing they say or do. Any apparently positive quality or action rings rotten and false. Bombastic domineering assholes, however, are quite spectacularly upfront about every last whim, motive and brainfart that ever occurs to them. They are perpetually on TRANSMIT. They conceal zilch. They are the group least likely to suffer from cloaked motives and perceived creepiness. Problem solved.
Thus softened up with news of a gazillion dreadful red flags, your latest cutie-patootie will thus become delicious putty in your monstrous hands. I bet she loves girly-girl music or some shit. So take her to see a really wholesome band. Like Cannibal Corpse.