I’m pregnant, and I am massively uncomfortable with people touching my belly. What’s the best way to keep people from touching my protruding uterus?
First, locate the nearest factory offering industrial chromium electroplating services. Then saunter in the front door, locate their vat full of molten, searing-hot chromium, and swandive right in.
Second, spend all day every day with at least one chromium-ified finger thrust deep into the nearest power outlet. Then, if anyone touches your belly, or your uterus, or any other part of you without your Kind Permission? i.e. without first giving you warning to remove your finger? They'll get zapped.
For best results, ram the biggest truck you can find, into the biggest nearby power station you can find, so that you've now forced merry entry to some super-duper-GIANT-voltage kit. Those braindead killjoys managing such places never would have granted you entry via conventional means. They fear you. So just cut out the middle man and smash your way in, you magnificent birthing bastard. Now get yourself charged up like a Ghostbusters proton pack. Problem solved.