Published on: 08 May 20:08

Meg asks

Apparently no one likes to cuddle with me because my arms and legs are heavy. Plus, my fat stomach feels like a “heavy bowling ball” against their body. What do?

My answer

Ugh, yup. Been there too, girl. Here's what worked for me: could you not winch yourself to the ceiling and lower yourself ever so delicately down onto them? Or cuddle under water? Or in zero gravity? In space, or perhaps in a romantic venue like NASA's Vomit Comet? Or just leap off a tall building together and cuddle incredibly quickly on the way down?

Or, hell, simply bite the bullet and infiltrate whichever bowling organisation is in charge of supervising and enforcing all global bowling ball weights, and fiddle their books such that all bowling balls must weigh 27 tons minimum. Even the most substantial tum will be feather-light in comparison.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/545286786317245/po...