Published on: 13 Jul 03:22

Hollie asks

My indoor only cat has decided last night that tonight is the night she ventures out into the world, wouldn’t be a problem if she wasn’t scared of her own shadow (I mean that quite literally) I can’t stop crying she’s my little baby.

What do?

My answer

Isn't it obvious? Construct a grand drone fleet of eye-bleedingly-bright airborne spotlights, or perhaps one of those hilarious orbital death ray satellites the Baddie Du Jour was blathering about in Die Another Day, you know, the one that reflects sunlight into arctic regions so's you can grow crops there. Ah, found it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMxVBY70dPU

Blast your kitteh with either, or both, 24/7, and she'll never have a shadow again, never experience fear again, and thus blossom into a feline Astérix the Gaul. Problem solved.