got this text today from someone i’ve been seeing (2 dates), what do?
It's ... it's obvious, isn't it? You two lovebirds simply need to close your relative Slut Gap, pronto, via galactic quantities of mutual humping, yet performed such that you redline your potential new paramour's ideally monstrous XP gains far faster than yours. To achieve both, plus most importantly remain an item and trounce this imminent breakup, first use your overpowering bedroom wiles about which your new paramour is so intimidated to whisk both them and you into bed, get humping - and then, respectfully but incredibly firmly insist that your protobeloved shall lovingly blammo your forehead with a rusty baseball bat every twenty seconds, like you're on Al Capone's baddie-side. You shall therefore be concussed and woozy throughout your imminent humptacular ultramarathon and they'll remain vibrant and sharp. Their raunch smarts will soar to match yours in no time. Problem solved.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2026/1/todays-terri...