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How to safely menstruate crude oil
24 Nov 2021
Alicia asks Ok my dudes, one of my pet peeves is when a β€œwoman’s restroom” has no trashcan within reach of the toilet. How should I dispose of used feminine products in a hygienic mann...
A goddess of this magnificence melts before me? I must be phenomenal!
24 Nov 2021
Kohli asks I have been with my boyfriend for 2yrs. Before I met him, I hooked up with his brother but I didn't know that was his brother until I met his family a while after. I spoke to ...
Kowtow to the PC-gone-mad crowd: wank off Genghis Khan 100k times
24 Nov 2021
Leah asks Asked boyfriend to buy cream of tartar for baking, comes home with tartar sauce for fish, what do My answer Tell him: "You moron! I didn't mean tartar sauce, I meant cream of...
ADHD gods and neurotypical untermenschen scum
24 Nov 2021
(Most other images I'd faffed around with involved seriously downer topics like Andrew Wakefield's dismal shenanigans, so here's an image of Asterix and Obelix and Dogmatix instead.) Bec...
How to synchronise all rabbit births
18 Nov 2021
Michelle asks How to induce labor? No OOC plz My answer Do what I do. Hang out around rabbit warrens and assume leadership of their orgies. Rabbits have a gestation period of only six ...
Grindr divorces and humptacular eligibility
18 Nov 2021
Smith asks My sister's boyfriend's wife's husband has a secret Grindr account. How should I congratulate him? My answer If you've got a family tree that twisted and gnarled then they'r...
A human hand pillow for a Delightful Spider
8 Nov 2021
Rowan asks Found this under my pillow, what do I do? My answer I had no idea spiders like you needed pillows. But geez, if you're finding human hands that colossal under your pillow,...
When to bait and set vaginal rat traps
8 Nov 2021
Monique asks So I am currently not on birth control (trying to get on the pill through Nurx) and recently started seeing my man. Both of us are clean and exclusive so no condoms are requ...
Style your man's hair into an atrocious nocturnal half-bun
8 Nov 2021
Stephanie asks ***More wonderful style suggestion attempts in comments 10/1 πŸ˜‚ y'all are the best! *updated photos in Comments! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I'll do more tmrw if y'all would like! My husban...
Molten zinc vagina cast handstand
8 Nov 2021
Image source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3568029... Donna asks I CAN’T feel the strings from my copper IUD. What do I do? My answer Make a bronze cast of your vagina b...
Copper IUD duelling banjos
8 Nov 2021
Donna asks I CAN’T feel the strings from my copper IUD. What do I do? My answer Shove a second IUD up there to keep the first company, but this time tether it using those ginormo...
Crash 10,000 comets into Earth on your first work day
8 Nov 2021
Becky asks First day of my new job. I've hardly slept and extremely tired. How do I over come this? I don't like tea or coffee. My answer Managers are generally fairly good sports abo...