Trying to think of a Halloween costume for my son. He's fifteen months old. Main issue is that my mother-in-law thinks so many things are evil because she's a very devout southern Baptist, and I don't feel like dealing with her being a bitch any more than she normally is. So what would be a good, Christian-friendly costume for a baby/toddler for this rather pagan holiday?
No OOC. I need lols because I love Halloween and she's making me hate it.
Is your mother-in-law a heavy sleeper? I bet we could design for her some kind of stealthy three-piece Satan suit. Perhaps Tim Curry's Lord Of Darkness look. Holy SHIT that's a vibe.
Apply it to her whilst she slumbers, so that when she wakes, she'll have zero clue how or why she wears it. Sprinkle a few dozen empty gin bottles around her.
(And incidentally, if you do indeed craft a means of applying professional-level makeup/costume effects to someone in their sleep, then I suspect several gazillion hyper-expert makeup artists would pay top dollar to Learn Your Ways. Today's most sophisticated and complex movie costumes take 6+ hours to apply, then an hour-plus to remove. Morning and night. Every dang day. Half the actor's waking hours gobbled. It's a heinous moviemaking bottleneck. But make the costume-crafting sleep-friendly? The actor's slumber remains undisturbed? Holy shit, dude. You'll be every moviemaker's best mate.)
Anyhoo. Each morning, claim complete ignorance of Mummy-In-Law's Lord Of Darkness transformation. Ask her what the hell she's playing at, wearing that damn nonsense. Ask her what on earth would possess a good wholesome God-fearing Christian lady like her to cosplay as Satan. Has she gone completely mad? She's not going senile, is she? Ask her if she's met a certain fellow called Jesus. Ever heard of him? Jesus? No, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Him. Looks like she could do with his touch.
Tell her also that her years of Baptist Views had truly nourished and enlightened your childhood and youth. You took her seriously. You looked up to her. Held her in high esteem. And now this. Her prior pulpit-thunder wasn't 100% bullshit, was it? No? Then remove that ridiculous costume, goddamnit, and try to look presentable.
Next night, do it all over again. Repeat every night, five thousand times in a row, and she may believe that she's not merely simply possessed by Satan, but that she is Satan.
Finally, each morning, also dress up your infant son as a Ghostbuster, and Command the diminutive dude to Ghostbust her.