Inspired by Billy Connolly's Incontinence Pants, perhaps?
I use soaked tissues to wipe the muzzle of my hose after peeing. This sometimes makes the area around the zipper wet, which unfortunately makes some people in my university think I splashed pee on my pants, when its really water.
Easy peasy Nihon-squeezy. Just drink such gigantic quantities of water that your urine becomes 99.9% water anyway, and then you can safely and constantly piss yourself and then accurately tell people that it's just water-splashing and they should stop fantasising about golden showers and suchlike.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2026/2/trounce-inco..