I got 30 minutes of sleep last night because of the sex trophies
I have no coffee.
How do I stay awake long enough to keep them alive til their dad gets off work?
Ohh, sex trophies as in children. For a second I thought you'd won actual literal sex trophies, and you couldn't get any sleep because, I dunno, they were flying around the room like sentient broomsticks and fucking you by surprise.
Why don't you cut out the middleman by screaming "FLY, MY PRETTIES, FLYYYYYYY," and commanding your figurative sex trophies to soar across town like Wizard Of Oz Flying Monkeys and helpfully fuck their dad instead? If he's still at work, as you claim, and if work is shit, he might genuinely welcome the airborne humptacular interruption. He could claim it as a business expense. Repeat with enough frequency and save enough money and he might be up for some sort of new work trophy. You know what to call it.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/actual-lite...