Published on: 11 Dec 09:51

Today I encountered this post: https://www.quora.com/Why-does-Selena-Gomez-go-wit...

For a few minutes I contemplated the difference between men and boys (i.e. both love boobs but only boys cannot detach themselves from the adoration of boobs enough to treat women like people).

Parts of my mind whizzed off in various directions. Yes bras are a bit silly. Yes women have every right to get fed up at being expected to wear them. Yes it's ridiculous that us blokes find visible nipples ogleworthy. Yes we find them hypnotically attractive, and nothing wrong with that one bit, but unfortunately too many males are boys and too few are proper men, to the point where women find that, in practice, no they can't go around with visible nipples because the boys will handle and process their own feelings of attraction poorly. Ugh.

Part of me toyed with releasing yet more Sexyverse merch. Why not a padded bra with fake mobile zigzaggey nipples? Like when you've got your cat or dog on your bed and you slide your feet around under the blankets and your pet goes nuts and attacks them. Do that with nipples. They can jump and jink all over the place under one's bra and look ridiculous, it'd be hilarious. Imagine the Looks you'll get.

For minute after minute I toyed with not only the logistics and mechanics of designing such a thing, but also the difficulties and tribulations of wearing such a thing myself and giving it a test run, before realising, waitasec, men have nipples too, I could totally still test it as a man.

Finally, yes, ugh, I realise the irony in my choice to label this as NSFW. I'm not particularly enthused about that either. Just cold pragmatism I'm afraid. Such is the world we live in. If you-the-reader would like to disagree with me, you are welcome to and I encourage you to.