Because I'm a total lunatic I locked my kid in the car today with keys inside. As you can see I had to break the window to get in.
How would you have rescued my darling child today ?
What's the problem? Just raise your baby inside the car for the next eighteen years. Something similar worked swimmingly with iron lungs and kids with polio. This medical-condition solution is even vroomier. By all accounts your iron-lung of choice is one of those hot hatchbacks I hear the Boy Racers just adore. Your baby will be the coolest cat on the midnight racing scene. What's not to love? Just be sure to squirt some of your breast milk in through the air vents every few hours and it'll grow up strapping and handsome and very, very fast. Worked perfectly on me. And Vin Diesel. I hear a similar experience was his motivation for all those ridiculous Fast-&-Furious movies.
Wait a second. Was all this his idea? Is he your kid's daddy? Or at least, with all your use of "darling child" and other demarcations of emotional intelligence, I'd just kind of assumed you were female and/or the mother. Had I erred? You're Vin Diesel, aren't you. Dude. You can afford a gnarlier mobile Iron Lung than a hot hatchback. Can't you? At least splash out for an entry-level Lambo or something, you miserly friggin' daddy-cheapskate.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2022/5/todays-terri...