Published on: 02 Jul 00:20

Catherine asks

Can’t find a bra. What should I use instead?

Don’t say go braless; that’s great advice.

My answer

The whole point of bras is to counteract long-term sagging, isn't it? At least one of the goals? (Yes, loads of others, keeping them from swinging miles each step and taking neighbours' eyes out, etc). Why not do handstands everywhere? Spend exactly half of your waking hours wobbling everywhere on your hands, upside-down, and the other half walking regularly. That way you'll cancel it out. Either that or suspend yourself above a huge vat of liquid nitrogen, Mission-Impossible-style, and dip only your boobs in. They'll freeze solid and stay in place as long as you like, zero flop or sag. Yes you'll have horrific frostbite forever, but all fashion is at least slightly agonising, right? Isn't that the whole point of fashion?

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...