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Consent is sexy❤

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10 Dec 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
Some bee species are choosier than others about bottoms
Nolan asks I want my ass eaten but I'm single, what do? My answer Are you particularly fussy re the species performing the eating? If not, you could locate a particularly ravenous beehive, locate or plant a rosebush beside it, hide ...
10 Dec 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
Satanic autofellatio: the rational tipple for the discerning metalhead
Nolan asks I want my ass eaten but I'm single, what do? My answer Wasn't there that urban legend that Marilyn Manson had a rib removal operation specifically to allow him to suck his own cock? I have no idea if it was ever true, ...
8 Dec 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
On becoming the glorious-est flirter in the goddamn galaxy
RW asks I posted about this before but the situation is getting worse. Im a 41yo married mom of two and there’s a guy probably young enough to be my son who works at Trader Joe’s and obviously has a crush on me, he engages me ...
6 Dec 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
How to cure 1,865,500 cases of haemorrhoids every second
Iain asks How to get rid of a haemorrhoid? My answer The current record holder for the fastest ever artificial object (excluding individual subatomic particles inside the Large Hadron Collider) is a womanhole cover travelling at ...
6 Dec 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
On piloting your human around like a fleshy mech
Amanda asks I'm trapped, what do? lykyk My answer Tell your human mattress that how dare she wear such comfy hoodies. I recall encountering a scientific study the other day which discovered that when dog-humans die, the dogs ...
5 Dec 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
On bapping the unfamiliar penises with a rolled-up newspaper
Lexi asks My boyfriend just left for work and won’t be back for a few weeks. I’m super sad about it. I don’t enjoy being all alone in the house. Advice on how to feel better? 😅 My answer Why not do what I do? Hijack your nearest ...
25 Nov 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
A tactful guide to menstruating Twink
Grace asks I started my period at work and I’m wearing white pants 🥲 what should i do? My answer Do what I do. Start menstruating Twink or Tippex or corrective fluid or whatever the hell your bit of the world calls it, so that it ...
25 Nov 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
Show your breasts who's boss
Colleen asks I work as a CNA during the grave shift (6PM- 6AM). There are only four of us who work the shift (just one person working at a time): New girl #1: constantly pulls "no calls, no shows." I've had to go into overtime ...
24 Nov 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
Throw yourself upon an anti-breasts grenade to save the squad
Patricia asks Hola! Getting my boobies chopped on Thursday and haven't mentioned it to most people. What should I tell them happened? (EDIT: what do?) My answer Tell them you valiantly threw yourself upon an anti-breasts grenade to ...
24 Nov 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
Punish mumblers with instant cunnilingus
Amanda asks I hate asking people to repeat themselves. What should I do instead when I mishear someone? My answer Deliberately misinterpret every misheard sentence as desperate and emphatic pleading to immediately receive ...
24 Nov 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
How to make Hilter even more feminine
Yasmin asks My 1 year old rudely ripped off my birth control patch while I napped How do I make him understand I don’t want anymore little hims 😩 My answer Play the long game. Buy another thousand birth control patches and ...
24 Nov 2021
NSFW Shite Advice
One breast lactates bleach, the other breast whiskey
Taylor asks My daughter is 2.5 and I could not possibly be more done with breastfeeding. How do I remove her from the tiddy? ETA: I'm asking for bad advice, not bad judgment lmfaooo My answer Wasn't there that urban legend of a ...
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