How can I masturbate without god watching me or judging me?
And what's wrong with that, may I ask? Maybe God is feeling lonely and irritable and just wants to be loved? Who wouldn't? Hell, when I get into a strop I feel a tad judgey myself. Why not wank each other off, then? Though which God are we talking about here? Trinity-wise? Jesus, or one of the other two blokes? Harsh experience has taught me that although Jesus may make a big song and dance about his laying-on-of-hands, when push comes to shove, his stigmata transform an otherwise exquisite handjob into an experience slightly more holey. Maybe that's why certain God-botherers apply autostigmata? They're trying to level the mutual-trinitarian-wank-off playing field. So come on now. There's never been any place for slut-shaming in religious conservatism.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2022/5/i-am-one-in-...