My family is upset with my purchase shown, and want me to get rid of him…
Instead I’m thinking about becoming a pirate. Any leads?
Maybe the reason your fellow parrots are so upset with you purchasing that really shitty banana is that you're anthropomorphising it? Ever thought of that? And, "him"? Just because bananas look a bit penisey doesn't necessarily mean you should go around masculinising them. Unless they're a variety cultivated specifically for hen parties. I reckon your subconscious has been shouting that at you for weeks. It'd explain why your oral skills are clearly so dreadful. Classic psychological self-sabotage. I mean dude! That amount of biting? What gent would ever desire that? Certainly not pirates! No wonder Captain Hook was always in such a crap mood.
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