Getting lucky tonight after 3 year divorce. Told her I hit the gym 5 days a week. I lied. Got a dad bod. What do?
A few ideas:
- Tell her you'd "hit" the gym as in physically collided with it en route to the nearest KFC.
- Oh sure, you've got a dad bod at this exact moment in time, but you've been training like Luke Skywalker on Prozac and a month ago you were basically spherical and the flab's been exploding off your outermost layers like you're the Crab Nebula. She should totally see you in another month, you'll look like a clingfilmed Tesla coil. Note: if you fail to look like a clingfilmed Tesla coil you may need to camouflage this with additional bullshitting, unless of course you actually do look like one, in which case holy crap rock on dude
- Tell her that in your One True Faith, a week has 1007 days, and you can't be expected to look like Mrs. Universe after five workouts in almost three years, and she should get off your back.
- Beat her to the punch by accusing her of having a dad bod first.
- Wear a Naked Gun full-body condom the entire night, and loudly champion your right to enjoy incredibly safe sex. If she protests, accuse her of being five quintillion chlamydias in a trench coat.
Original: https://www.facebook.com/groups/545286786317245/po...