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NSFW Shite Advice

How to assert one's overwhelming Jewishness EVEN MORE cervix-snuggly-ly: today's TERRIBLE advice

Molly-Beth asks my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday but we’re still going to be friends. my stomach hurts constantly and i can’t stop crying. what do? My answer I feel you, girl! Awful situation all round. I'll do my ...

On maiming self-invited wedding guests, harpooning Jaws-sharks, cocktails rocking actual cocks ...

Abbie asks It’s 6 days until my wedding and someone I met once in college a few years ago just messaged me and asked where the wedding is, because she and her boyfriend would like to come. I think I spoke with her once, and I’ve ...

How to spin Equity Quotas into orgies, tax-farming, corruption, thighs, gaming, sleaze, ...

Brenda asks I'm in grad school creating a final presentation in power point. One of the slides needs to "provide ways to advocate for equity at the school, district, and community levels." How the f*** should I know? So, how ...

How to become the next-of-kin, drug dealer, and deep-fried Mars Bar chef to every pub brawler in ...

Image source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/386376497384617/po... Matt asks Every few months, I get a wave of phone calls from the local jail, from a guy that keeps getting himself arrested. I have no idea who this guy is, but ...

The greatest family gift: each other, literally

Alysha asks Looking to cheer myself up so no OOC. I'm broke as a joke this year for the holidays and have 13 nieces and nephews to buy presents for. What do I get them? They range in age from 3 months old to 19 years old. My ...

How to place every dentist who'd ever dentisted In Your Debt, via time travel, Murder Houses, ...

Image source: https://upperhuntclubdentalcentre.com/blog-how-to-... Paige asks How to get my teenage nephew to stop sucking his thumb? I’m reading all the comments to him btw, no need to censor he’s got a potty mouth. Yes ...

How to weasel out of jury duty via horrible legal Übermenschen, wanky jellyfish, and injecting ...

Image source: holy crap the entire episode is on YouTube Cal asks I got summoned for jury duty, how do I get out of it? My answer Bro. Isn't it obvious? Just arrange matters such that every single legal-personnel role in ...

How to cure procrastination 100% GUARANTEED: today's TERRIBLE advice

Brooklyn asks My boss is chronically late to every meeting we have, and I frequently have to text him to remind him to attend. What can I say other than "We're waiting for you"? This text chain is sad. My answer Isn't it ...

Kratom and brittle hair and dry skin and aging, oh my

Image source: https://www.discovermagazine.com/health/kratom-wha... Ever heard of kratom? I hadn't. Until about 2015. It's a collection of tree species in Southeast Asia. If you dry and crush their leaves into a powder, mix ...

NSFW Shite Advice

On nuking Antarctica, mastering humpback romance hierarchies, and mistress-ing silverback front ...

Image source: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D3BWDG2Z Maz asks My D is really long and thick (No lie) no matter what I wear there's always an outline or a lump there. What should I do to save myself from embarrassment? My ...

Why bouncy castles, hyperinflation, and a gazillion asteroid impacts are every tattooist's ...

Brittany asks I've been going to my same tattoo artist for 8 years and she recently upped her price to $250 an hour. She deserves to be paid that well but I can't afford that anymore, what do I do? My answer Easy. Here are three ...

On less racist deflections of Impertinent Wifely Questions re perfidious side-chicks: today's ...

Kayla asks Let's give this guy some advice My answer How about: "What the hell are you talking about? That photo is from that horrible photoshoot you and I did three years ago! Third-worst stag party of my life! I still ...

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Books You May Find Surprisingly Snazzy

The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 2/6 ~~
The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it's wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it's stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.

The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 3/6 ~~
The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!

The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 4/6 ~~
The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game's up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth's free nations forever perish.