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8 Oct 2022
Shite Advice
The OJ will cure every disease in the universe: here's how
Amanda asks The therapist I wanted to start seeing said she is not equipped to help me. What do? My answer Simple. Offer to be her lab rat for the Nobel Prize for Psychology or Psychiatry or Spacedicks or whatever field of choice ...
7 Oct 2022
Shite Advice
Chewbacca's mum never looked so phunky-phresh
Jenna asks Best way to have a smooth coochie and asshole? Shaving be so annoying My answer Slather huge quantities of Rogaine across every bit of your body except your coochie and asshole so they look less hairy by comparison. ...
7 Oct 2022
NSFW Shite Advice
People who say "women can wear pants but no man would wear skirts," ...
Brandi asks Tell me your terrible ways to solve constipation My answer Sign up to the United States Marine Corps, locate a huge pack of those lovely dreamy drill instructors who adore informing raw recruits that "if you don't do ...
7 Oct 2022
Shite Advice
How to become an ungrateful friggin' money spigot
Morgan asks I’m in over my head in debt. How do I fix it? My answer Smash every currency press in the world. Then flood the world with your own counterfeit currency and nothing else. You should totally call it MorganMoola. We could ...
7 Oct 2022
Shite Advice
Three tons of beefy coffee beans contain HOW many calories?
Joshua asks I have a blood test in 2 hours and I can't eat or drink anything until then with more calories than black coffee. What should I have for breakfast? My answer Grind three tons of coffee beans down to the consistency of ...
7 Oct 2022
Shite Advice
Ever met a rabbit that wasn't uppity?
Lauren asks My rabbits insist that they're starving to death. They were fed twenty minutes ago but they're already back at their bowl begging. What do? Hard mode: no rabbit stew, no animal f-ing. My answer Set up a TV or laptop ...
5 Oct 2022
NSFW Shite Advice
The Voluptuousifier strikes again!
Cory asks For context, I'm a trans man that works at the only certified daycare in the town I live in. Yesterday, a parent complained to my boss about me working around their son. Apparently, when you have a hysterectomy or start ...
5 Oct 2022
Shite Advice
Only the cool kids do molten-salt shots
Joshua asks Hey guys, it’s me again. I’m still high. I put too much salt in my popcorn, how to separate salt from the popcorn so it’s not too salty? My answer Couldn't you add more unsalted popcorn? Then the salt density ...
3 Oct 2022
Whimsy
Make tuis fly across 15 monitors
Who'd like to chain together 10-15 monitors in a row and display some kind of gorgeous native-bush wilderness panorama splashed across the lot, with birds and other wildlife critters swooping and scurrying from one to another to ...
23 Sep 2022
Shite Advice
Prank-Pizza-ing with Covid and SARS and Ebola and Bubonic Plague
Mia asks My dad lives alone in Thailand and has been very ill with Covid. He’s now not replying to us and his phone seems to be off. We are super worried. We reached out to his ex to ask her to do a welfare check but aren’t hearing ...
13 Jul 2022
Shite Advice
Might he forever plague us?
Martine asks The UK government needs to choose a new party leader (Prime Minister), what process should they use to whittle the 11 potential candidates down to 1? My answer How about a Boris Johnson impersonation ...
13 Jul 2022
Whimsy
Moonwalking whilst motorbiking
In the last four years, I've been pulled over by cops whilst motorbiking, not once but twice, for dancing. Dancing. I'd genuinely thought I'd only been slightly rocking out, but both cops informed me I was swerving everywhere. The ...
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