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NSFW Shite Advice

How to seduce Annatar, Lord of Fab

Image source: https://lieutenant-of-darkness.tumblr.com/post/158... SkiSakima asks I got psychosis and ...

How to become an Astroturf-esque Judge Judy

Jennifer asks My boyfriend is locked up waiting for his court dates. The lawyer we hired stopped responding I ...

How to make the Vomit Comet even more romantic

Meg asks Apparently no one likes to cuddle with me because my arms and legs are heavy. Plus, my fat stomach feels ...

Punctuality is the politeness of bratty bratty princesses

Kaylah asks I transferred to a new location for my work and my new boss lectured me for clocking in a minute late ...

The classic "whaddaya MEAN ya can't paint red lights green" defence

Rhett asks I'm tired of stoplights taking too long to change for me. Half the time, they change for no reason and ...

The swimmiest flatulence cure you've ever encountered

Justyce asks I am full of gas. It's so bad that it hurts. What can I do to relieve the pressure?? My answer Why ...

NSFW Shite Advice

Why no train driver will ever admit that all trains are inflatable

Strumpets! STRUMPETS! Jimmy asks What is the best way to jump on a fast moving train? I always wanted to try ...

NSFW Shite Advice

How to enter and pilot your FWB's SO like a fleshy tuxedo

Tristen asks Fwb was not single what do 💀 My answer Unleash some good old-fashioned Stalinist Peoples' Wrath on ...

Why Caesarian sections aren't as gay as you'd feared

Irene asks Hey guys, I had my baby on the 12th, surgery was COMPLICATED and thankfully baby is okay now (we did ...

You young-'uns can't appreciate properly matured strawberries

Liberty asks a couple strawberries were covered in mold, i just bought them yesterday. what do My answer Yup. ...

The liver is evil and must be punished

Kirsten asks I have massive trust issues and get worried/anxious when my bf goes out drinking w/out me. What ...

The second-hardest problem in web-dev is naming things

Alexandria asks What should I name my new cat? . . . . Ooc: I'm looking for the stupidest names, so far Im ...

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Books You May Find Surprisingly Snazzy

The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 2/6 ~~
The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it's wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it's stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.

The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 3/6 ~~
The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!

The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
~~ Part 4/6 ~~
The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game's up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth's free nations forever perish.